Archaeologists were digging up the side of a boring old roadway in Dorset when suddenly they unearthed something a bit more exciting: a mass grave containing the headless remains of 54 Viking mercenaries. The archaeologists set about carefully recording the positions of the bones. As they did so, the researchers began to notice something unusual about the placement. Namely, that the leg and arm bones, heads and torsos were all neatly arranged into their own separate piles… in short: A Viking Hellraiser. So what happened?
The archaeologists’ initial theory was that, after being captured by the occupants of a local village that somehow survived the Viking attack, the assailants themselves were murdered, with their corpses then being stripped naked and dismembered by the villagers, who also took a few heads with them as, like, fun-time souvenirs or something.
But that doesn’t explain why the unfortunate Vikings were beheaded by strange, precise sword blows delivered from the front, instead of the usual hack-jobs to the back of the neck that accompany normal beheadings.
In fact, the archaeologists themselves later revised their theory, admitting that the Vikings were probably not torn apart by a brutally violent mob bent on revenge, but may have been sacrificed in a highly controlled and ritualistic manner not consistent with the surrounding culture of the time.
So, yes, definitely a Viking Hellraiser.
“Your suffering will be legendary, even in Vahalla!”