The world is glitching harder than your old Windows XP. In today’s carnival of chaos, zombie squirrels and spiders are marching from basements to suburbs, Florida is giving kids flying kill-bots instead of buses, and scientists just introduced us to a baby born from a 30-year-old embryo — basically a time traveler in diapers.
Meanwhile, a drunk man in Brazil was rescued by his own bull (proof that humanity is already outsourcing survival instincts), a Chinese property giant collapsed like wet cardboard, and an underwater volcano off Oregon is rumbling like it just remembered it’s late for the apocalypse.
Oh, and the Sun is hurling proton storms our way — so keep your eyes to the sky while you dodge flesh-eating worms, zombie wildlife, and political family photoshoots that look straight out of a Twilight Zone rerun.
